How long would you wait for marriage?

I was one of those girls who never wanted to get married. Growing up in a household where men came and went and so did husbands, I wanted to pursue other interests in my life other than having a ring on my finger. Not that I don't love the looks of men, I do. I'm not a man basher, just not that interested in having their presence the most important thing to me.

Lo and behold, I was married before I thought I would be. At the age of twenty one, I walked down the aisle to marry my man and eight years later, we are still going strong. Luckily for me, I met and married a man who didn't make me feel that if I wanted to stick my head in a eight hundred page novel and get lost for days at a time, he would leave. He's rather a nice, caring and thoughtful man with interests other than me at all times.

Over the weekend, we attended a wedding of a couple whom we have known for quite awhile. The ceremony was beautiful along the banks of the beautiful Rappahannock River in Virginia. Other than the north wind that decided to pick up and freeze many home to an early bed, it was perfect. As I watched the bride make her way down the aisle, a tear was brought to my eyes. It's so amazing to watch two people take vows to one another. Watching the man is also the best part of the ceremony.

I've known couples that have been together as long as I've been married that are still uncommitted in the sense of wedding rings and bridal registries. The vows of marriage do not mean much to them. Their commitment to one another is strong without these testaments. It makes me wonder how long many will go in a relationship before marriage is thought of?

How long would you wait for marriage? Is it not important to make vows in front of family and friends for your relationship?

Did your parents mess up your view of relationships?

My mother and father divorced when I was eight. After living without my parents married to one another, I decided I didn't have to get married either. Why when the outcome can be so messy?

Years went by and then one day I met a man and we moved in with one another. We had a daughter. Such a cute little thing but had some serious stomach issues as a baby... whew. We shared the responsibilities with each other. He took out the trash while I cooked. I cleaned the bathrooms and he cleaned the litter box. We took turns changing diapers and giving baths. Everything was perfect or so I thought. It all happened so fast. I never saw it coming.

He asked me to marry him.

What? I asked. I thought we were happy?All this time I had been avoiding this question and here it was. What was I to do? I loved him, yes. I wanted to spend my time with him, we have a blast together. I wanted to lie down every night beside him, he has a nice tummy to put my head on. He didn't like to take baths that much at the time, seriously that issue has gotten better... yay! I had to think about this one.

After the years of dealing with my parents mistakes and their love life, was I going to fall right into their footsteps and get married? What if it didn't work out? My daughter would be the one to suffer the most, I thought. Happily she would be living her life, thinking everything was hunky dory and then one day her parents would get tired of one another and they would split. I wasn't sure if I wanted to place that on her. After some thinking and then some shopping, I started to change my mind. I would have to take a chance on this love thing and in the end I might lose but he might lose too.

There is a funny, funny thing about marriage. After the years pass your love does change as some people worry about. It flips and floats and meanders along. At times you will get on one another's last nerve but you know what? It's cool. Send him out of town for a weekend with the boys. I like to think of it as family and a family is all I ever wanted.

Having seen what your parents went through in their marriage, did it ever hinder your love decisions?

Watching them, did it make you more aware of what you didn't want in your relationships?